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Nice or Kind?
As children we all heard the sound, sage wisdom from our parents when we were on the playground or fighting with our siblings... “Be Nice.” To be sure, it’s very good advice that helps in interpersonal relationships. Have you ever noticed, though, that in adulthood the language tends to morph just a little. Instead of “Be Nice,” we have more of a tendency to hear “Be Kind.” Have you ever stopped to ponder the difference between the two? Can we confidently say there is? I think so.
To “be nice” means to engage in what is socially expected of you in a given situation. Smile at them and speak general pleasantries. Being nice does not require any high level of engagement but can be expressed in the slightest of interactions that are governed by social norms. To “be kind” suggests putting forth an extra effort or going out of your way to accommodate someone else’s needs. Being kind is an interaction that is much more intentional in nature. What’s more, being kind is more Biblical.
Did you know that the Bible never tells us to “be nice” to other people? Interestingly, the only notion of niceties appears in in Jeremiah 12:6 (NASB) when the prophet warns his listeners to be wary of it! “For even your brothers and the household of your father, even they have dealt treacherously with you, even they have cried aloud after you. Do not believe them, although they may say nice things to you.”
Conversely, “be kind” is a regular admonition and action that is lauded as virtuous. And, as we defined above, it always includes deliberate, extra effort to accommodate someone else. Consider some examples:
Gen. 19:19 – The angels showed Lot kindness by saving him from Sodom’s destruction
Ruth 2:20 – Naomi praised Boaz’s treatment of Ruth as a kindness toward them.
2 Sam 9 – King David purposefully sought out Jonathan’s remaining relatives to care for them.
Eph. 4:32 – Kindness involves a tender heart and forgiveness of an offender.
We could go on, but hopefully the point comes through. As Christians, we are called to do much more than “be nice” to the those in the world around us. We are people who go the extra mile to “be kind.” Our concern is to meet needs and be deliberate in our interactions so that God is glorified, and humanity is truly better off. So, as you go out today, sure, be nice to those you meet. But more than anything...Be Kind!
